The top quotes in politics…
“The last time I was ever drunk was at my bachelor party.” — Former Sen. Scott Brown denying drunk tweeting.
“Buy a shotgun.” — Vice President Joe Biden advising a woman on how to protect herself.
“He’s on another planet.” — President Barack Obama praising Tiger Woods.
“This is my mid-life crisis.” — First lady Michelle Obama talking about her bangs.
“Grab free donuts and coffee before Obama grabs your gun!” — A message from Rep. Steve Stockman’s office to Hill staffers.
“Sure, why not?” — Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid when asked if he’ll run in 2016.
“Get ready for 2 minutes of jokes, then 40 minutes on public employee pension reform.” — Conan O’Brien on his upcoming Correspondents’ Dinner routine.